This is my story

Hi, I’d like to take the time to welcome you to Koffee Klatch. I’m your founder, and I’ve had to deal with a lot of issues that sure look a lot like ADHD. I also have congenital hypothyroidism, formerly called Cretinism; I was born without a thyroid gland and have taken thyroid supplements since I  was 8 months old.

I struggled with self-sabotage all my life.  I was always taught that someone with disabilities weren’t supposed to do better than their family, so I started to self-sabatage myself from an early age. 

I always wanted to help people in some way or another. I wanted to help them to better their life. But I was discouraged by my family, who didn’t really believe in me, and that I had problems with organization, follow-through. I knew that I was born without a thyroid gland, otherwise known as Cretinism that caused some minimal brain damage(I was told) by the time it was caught and treated. I was even on Ritalin, being told I was “hyperactive”. The Ritalin helped, but at the time, ADD or ADHD wasn’t even a thing. I was certainly never diagnosed with anything, and eventually when I was in my 20’s I got pressure from my doctor to go off Ritalin. That I had “outgrown” it.

It never occurred to me that in addition to Cretinism, I might have another problem. I read something about “minimal brain dysfunction, and it seemed to match what symptoms I had with impulsivity, hyperactivity, focus, attention, organization, losing track of time, the works. Until recently.

Although I was on Ritalin, I was never really taught new habits. I was told about behavior modification, but I didn’t really understand what that meant. For me, because I had such a negative mindset, I thought it meant that I failed, again, that I was “bad”, and needed to be punished. I didn’t realize it was so I could put habits in place that would serve me better. So, as usual, I sabotaged myself and turned my back on it.

I started Victory Infopublishing, but I didn’t have a clue on how to organize it or what to do with it. I knew it had something to do with self-help, but after that, I was helpless. It was over twenty years ago, but I just couldn’t give up on it. I kept trying, in my fumbling way, and bought a lot of “bright shiny objects” because of my impulsiveness and impulsive/compulsive shopping. But I didn’t utilize the books and programs that I had, I kept going on and on doing the same crap.

I became aware that my self-sabotage was getting in my way

One of the things that really bothered me in the last few years was that I kept prograstinating studying the subjects I was supposed to. I kept flipping from book to book in my Kindle device, and was having difficulty finishing a book. It wasn’t working. I wanted to study, but I got bored so easily, and this came to a head this year, that and my impulsive shopping a year or two ago, came close to destroying my marriage. My husband was really upset, but knew that something had to change. It did, but it had to be both of us. I had to change too. I started studying my books about adult ADHD, and started wondering…could it be possible I had this? I sure seem to have the classic symptoms, all my life. Wasn’t it time to do something about it?

I made up my mind to find all I could about ADHD, and better yet, women with ADHD. I started to believe that if I had to work so hard at it, then any success I and others have would be a victory over all the ways we sabotgage our lives with this condition, but that it doesn’t have to determine our future, our lives going forward. I can find solutions for all our problems, that we can find the solutions together.

Why I want to write Koffee Klatch

One of the main reasons I’m writing this site, is that I want to chronicle my journey in accepting ADHD as a possible condition. I want to show my journey in diagnosis, the frustration I’ve had with my symptoms for all my life, or at least as long as I remember.

I’m not saying that I’m an expert on workarounds….yet, but I can say that I’m an expert on my frustrations, symptoms, needing to find solutions, even though I’m in my “Golden years”. I am very much an expert on the areas that just drive me nuts. As I find solutions, I plan to share them with the rest of you  gals.

I know what it feels like to feel out of control, overwhelmed, disorganized, always feeling like I have to apologize, not just for mistakes, but just for existing. I’ve felt this way, all my life. I know what if feels like to be invisible to my family, and that I have to get back in control. It’s taken most of my life to get to this point, and to face the fact that I might just have ADHD. That I have not lived the life I expected to. I don’t want that to happen to other women who have this condition. It sucks!

This site is part of my company, Victory  Infopublishing. It’s goal is to find ways for people with ADHD to snatch victory from the jaws of frustration, overwhelm, a sense of failure, of falling short, and a life of underachieving. Unlike most of the sites in my growing  Victory Infopublishing empire, this site is just for the gals, and it touches on the issues from a woman’s perspective.

I feel that we can take time out from our overwhelm and have just a little break and learn ways to overcome bad habits, symptoms and behaviors that keep us back from a triumphant and victorious life. I believe that because some things are harder for us with ADHD, that each success is not just success, but a sense of victory. Large or small, victory is still victory.

The Purpose of Koffee Klatch

The purpose of Koffee Klatch, is to take a break, relax and destress from the symptoms that get in our way. It’s when we get overwhelmed, angry and frustrated or feeling guilty or ashamed of our symptoms, frustrations. I think people who don’t take time out, to recharge their batteries, just drive themselves to exhaustion, which doesn’t really serve them. the idea of Koffee Klatch, as I envision it is to be a kind of “coffee break” (or whatever your favorite drink is).  When we take even a half-hour of our day for a period of quiet reflection, then we can see solutions when we couldn’t before because we were simply too busy to rest.

Rest, quiet meditation, and talking over issues together, is a part of not just “me time”, it is a vital part of self-care, which I know I’m deficient in, and tend to be too distracted to take care of ourselves, and those of us with children especiallty need it as they are burdened and overwhelmed with the pressure to think of husband, children, home and others before themselves or even at the expense of their own physical and mental health.

The Mission of Koffee Klatch

My mission here at Koffee Klatch is to help women new to ADHD, whether just newly diagnosed and overwhelmed at what to do next, or those, like me, who haven’t been diagnosed yet, but are considering that their symptoms might signify that they might have this “disorder”.

I plan to write about my journey in the hope that what I discover might help others find solutions themselves that might help myself or others. I believe that we are not an “island  unto ourselves”, but that we are a community and that each of us holds some, not all, the answers. That together, we have the answers to unproductive days, distractions, lack of focus, overwhelm, self-regulation, time (dis)perception/blindness, fidgeting, feeling that our condition is invisible to our loved ones and famillies.and the constant feeling that we have failed, are failures(we’re not, and we know this academically, but our emotional issues get in the way).. But we work on each issue at a time.

I also plan to write about my diagnostic journey, the good, the bad, and the frustrations that accompany my diagnosis. Good, bad or indifferent, at least I’ll know if I fall in the ADHD spectrum, and my discoveries of solutions, and even talk about some tools that help with the condition.